Blinds

Things are changing, yes. My mind is constantly changing. Exchanging information with the world. Today i realized that the internet is my superpower. That is, without it i am a pretty awesome human being and can do quite a lot. But with it... pff, i get wings. I make such leaps as could not be possible without such a smart creation as the internet and all the sources that fuel it every day. If some of the servers that i use every day would one day disconnect from this network, well, that would be a really sad day. And a superpowerless day. For i would turn to just an above average human being. Why am i calling myself above average? Well, don't we all? Who likes to accept that they are below average. But no, it's not because of my huge ego. I have it under control. It has its uses. It's because, since i was a kid, i kept improving. Consciously. For a while now i've had something on my mind, being the best person i can be every day. You see, without wanting to and doing this, many people just stay where they are, every day. No challenges, no lessons, no change, nothing new. If you learn something every day (even when you have no idea what that was, but you know that your day was not like the one before it), then you get a chance to improve. And become better. Every single day. Better than the day before. Better than your own average. The next time i tell someone i'm better than average, i'll also mention whose average. Mine. We like to be seen as individuals. How can i compare myself with the next person? I'm better at grammar than they are, but i bet i'm not as good at social interactions. I may be better at typing (haha, not really), but they're probably better at... i don't know, we'll find something.

Now that that's over, let's talk about something more down to earth. I've been reading today a bit about freelancing, since it's becoming more and more of a thing in my life. I didn't actually start it as a desperate person looking for work, more like a soon-to-be graduate looking for a place to get some extra experience. There is no money to be made from freelancing in the beginning. First months, years, depending on how much you care for that kind of work. I started nicely, two years ago. I can't believe it's been two years. I got a really badly paying job in order to get my first feedback. Of course it had to be the best, so i did my best, even for that meager pay and for those awful hours (i was working while taking part in a paid training program - that was not fun). I learned that Australia was the country with the happiest citizens. It's funny that, after i stopped working on that 'project' (did i mention that i really did a very good job, even though it was not expected, given the pay), a year passed and i completely forgot about any of the two platforms that i had an account on (that actually merged sometime last year - i did know about that) and then i got to work with an Australian team. That was fun. Tiring, but fun. Now that i don't have a task that i dread to do (somewhat), my day feels empty. There's still much more to be done.

Wow, i just had the most amazing and inspiring conversation, mostly on my own (yes, if that sounds sad, it is). While talking to a friend, i let it slip (as i always do, rarely with any success at bringing any smiles about) that in two years i'll be the person knowing most about concrete in this country. Doing research on it, at the micro level, that i hope will be the case. She mentioned that we might make a special edition of 5MS (five minute speeches) for me to talk about concrete (i'm not really into talking, but i need to get prepared for the future, so i make myself go through this training until it stops being uncomfortable). Which sparked an idea. If others can have science cafes and other meetings like that, why wouldn't we? Yesterday or the day before i read about such informal events where normal people get to find out from the researchers themselves what they are studying and what it means. I think that would be cool if we blended it with the structure of 5MS. We could call it Scientific 5MS, it can happen every month, like the original, no need for an entry fee or prizes, since it would not be about public speaking, but about research and science. This way, it can last for an hour, 6 speeches, we can then have a tea or something with our friends and talk about it.

Aand... i just watched a commercial directed at the parents who keep their daughters in imaginary castles and don't let them get dirty and explore the world because they're pretty little princesses. I was lucky to not be one of those. I played with mud (and still do), had my share of cow/chicken love, helped my dad and my uncle build/repair stuff and they never told me to go away because i'm too weak or something. They were always happy for the help. Sometimes i remember and am so grateful for having the occasion/opportunity to not turn into a princess. I may have hated myself my whole life. Maybe that's why i don't like these fake-ass piți that i meet every day. The really thin/fragile ones that spend waaaay too much time grooming themselves. I also think that's the reason why, after the first months of getting to know each other, i now get along so well with my lab colleague, now a post-doc. We're both the kind of woman who is unafraid to clasp that hammer or pliers and repair that thing that just went crazy in the lab. You get what i mean. That's why i have a workshop full of tools instead of crates of makeup products. That's why i have a sewing machine and a gazillion pieces of fabric lying around, waiting to be transformed, instead of throwing my money at cheap stuff then throwing the cheap stuff away to make more space for new cheap stuff.