I still want to make glamorous things, but i think there's a big conflict there. I don't get the mindset of my potential customers. I don't think like them and they don't live like me. I have no idea what i'm doing, probably just trying to get by to the next day until i find someone willing to share this life with me, to build something. I keep telling myself i've already found this person, but i have a hunch that he's not actually that interested or willing to work on this. And even if he did, it would take a few more years until we may live in the same city, let alone in the same place. I've never felt this so acutely. One of my discoveries today was the Aspire Academy, a summer school for rich kids who are 'the future leaders of tomorrow', that is, they are smart enough to get in and have enough money to pay the tax. It's a nice idea, had it not been for the extremely important factor of money. I always feel that programs like this are fake, since you need to have a certain social status to find out about them and to afford to get in. I have no idea whether they would accept me if it weren't for that tax. I'm a bit too cynical for them, maybe. Then again, being myself didn't prevent me from being among the 13 chosen from a pool of 2500 very talented and determined people who applied for the Engage in Conservation Project a while ago. I'd say that's rather a more impressive realization than getting into this summer school (which would probably 'teach' the same basic stuff you learn anywhere if you're interested in leadership and management). It's more of an opportunity for socializing and making connections that you would have to hand on to later on. I hate networking for the sole reason that you have to hang on to people, or else they lose interest in you in a very short time. I have good friends that i would trust with my life and i sometimes only talk to them once a year. Still, if i needed something from them or if they needed something from me, i'm sure there would be no problem, even if i had no idea what they were doing at the time. It's much easier to keep up with what people are doing through social media, but that paints a very biased picture of people's lives, so i'd rather not trust it to tell me the story of my friends. If i could find people like that in such a networking event/school, that would be good. But they are few and difficult to find and i've already found one who went to this academy. Or at least that's what i think, he still has to confirm this. Ah well. He says it helps, that the network of people he's built by going to these aspire events will help him build the future of our country. Too bad he, like most of the other participants, doesn't actually live here to see the real problems and find a solution from the inside. And too bad that, after taking part in one of their events, he decided that the guys he was supposed to meet afterwards were not worth the trouble. Because they're all in for the money to be made as the 'young and fabulous ambassadors of genius' or something. It's all a scam :( There may be some genuine people there, like i hope that he is (otherwise i'm in for a pretty intense heartache), but you don't need these events to keep up with them. Or to keep up with them at all. There are some pretty interesting people that i met in 2013 while taking part in Practica-ta that i haven't actually talked to since 2013, but i'm sure we'll meet again some day in some situation where we can help each other and we will because why not..?
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Vacuum
I stumbled upon my own words. I'm stuck, my eyes are crying out loud
(not actually crying, for a change) that they need a break from this
monitor. I love my computer and apparently i can sit in front of it for
hours on end. What i do is useful, although i'd like to spend time doing
stuff away from it as well, especially during the weekend. The sad fact
is that there are so many things that i want/must do on my computer,
that i leave almost no time for offline activities. When i say offline i
actually mean off electricity, not so much off the internet. Not
everything i do is on the web, for example today i transcribed symbols
from an old traditional Romanian shirt onto a sheet of paper, from a
photo i took exactly a month ago. It's ready to be put into my new
notebook that i've been using to gather up all the symbols. It's almost
ready to be 'pasted' onto graph paper, so i can finally se what the
pretty model should look like on a piece of fabric. And then maybe i can
finally start actually sewing something and maybe i'll finally decide
to start working on my new traditional-style shirt. I'll make it until
june 24th, i'll give you that. No matter what it takes, it will be ready
by that date. I haven't decided on the fabric yet, it's so expensive,
and the fabric that i already have is too dark (and won't bleach, which
sucks). Maybe i can find some nice fabric in second hand stores, like
always, who knows.
But
first! I really want that bike. Today i finished watching this film and
realized that i'm so far away from average living. I mean, i'm still
struggling to buy an affordable bike to run around town. Sure, i live in
the city and i'm highly educated (haha, what a joke), but i own next to
nothing. My most prized possession, besides my brain, of course, is the
laptop i'm writing on. Then there are a few more gadgets that add up to
the value of the laptop and the rest.. Well, the rest fits in a tiny
van, what with all my small tools, fabrics, books, clothes and
kitchenware. I barely even have a few pots. I never really needed many,
living in a dorm for so many years makes one wary of buying anything
that's not extremely important right now. I realize right now how simple
my life is. It's so funny, probably an American or a British person
would think i'm extremely poor, living in such a small studio apartment,
going to school in mud almost every day, being surrounded by heavy
trucks and factories in my tiny block of flats. My life was never
glamorous and i never tried to make it. Why would i paint it to seem
like something it's not? Right now i would probably afford a few more
things, but what am i to do with them? The bike is really important, a
new camera would be nice, but it would be useless if i don't keep on
creating and trying to sell my flowers.
I still want to make glamorous things, but i think there's a big conflict there. I don't get the mindset of my potential customers. I don't think like them and they don't live like me. I have no idea what i'm doing, probably just trying to get by to the next day until i find someone willing to share this life with me, to build something. I keep telling myself i've already found this person, but i have a hunch that he's not actually that interested or willing to work on this. And even if he did, it would take a few more years until we may live in the same city, let alone in the same place. I've never felt this so acutely. One of my discoveries today was the Aspire Academy, a summer school for rich kids who are 'the future leaders of tomorrow', that is, they are smart enough to get in and have enough money to pay the tax. It's a nice idea, had it not been for the extremely important factor of money. I always feel that programs like this are fake, since you need to have a certain social status to find out about them and to afford to get in. I have no idea whether they would accept me if it weren't for that tax. I'm a bit too cynical for them, maybe. Then again, being myself didn't prevent me from being among the 13 chosen from a pool of 2500 very talented and determined people who applied for the Engage in Conservation Project a while ago. I'd say that's rather a more impressive realization than getting into this summer school (which would probably 'teach' the same basic stuff you learn anywhere if you're interested in leadership and management). It's more of an opportunity for socializing and making connections that you would have to hand on to later on. I hate networking for the sole reason that you have to hang on to people, or else they lose interest in you in a very short time. I have good friends that i would trust with my life and i sometimes only talk to them once a year. Still, if i needed something from them or if they needed something from me, i'm sure there would be no problem, even if i had no idea what they were doing at the time. It's much easier to keep up with what people are doing through social media, but that paints a very biased picture of people's lives, so i'd rather not trust it to tell me the story of my friends. If i could find people like that in such a networking event/school, that would be good. But they are few and difficult to find and i've already found one who went to this academy. Or at least that's what i think, he still has to confirm this. Ah well. He says it helps, that the network of people he's built by going to these aspire events will help him build the future of our country. Too bad he, like most of the other participants, doesn't actually live here to see the real problems and find a solution from the inside. And too bad that, after taking part in one of their events, he decided that the guys he was supposed to meet afterwards were not worth the trouble. Because they're all in for the money to be made as the 'young and fabulous ambassadors of genius' or something. It's all a scam :( There may be some genuine people there, like i hope that he is (otherwise i'm in for a pretty intense heartache), but you don't need these events to keep up with them. Or to keep up with them at all. There are some pretty interesting people that i met in 2013 while taking part in Practica-ta that i haven't actually talked to since 2013, but i'm sure we'll meet again some day in some situation where we can help each other and we will because why not..?
I still want to make glamorous things, but i think there's a big conflict there. I don't get the mindset of my potential customers. I don't think like them and they don't live like me. I have no idea what i'm doing, probably just trying to get by to the next day until i find someone willing to share this life with me, to build something. I keep telling myself i've already found this person, but i have a hunch that he's not actually that interested or willing to work on this. And even if he did, it would take a few more years until we may live in the same city, let alone in the same place. I've never felt this so acutely. One of my discoveries today was the Aspire Academy, a summer school for rich kids who are 'the future leaders of tomorrow', that is, they are smart enough to get in and have enough money to pay the tax. It's a nice idea, had it not been for the extremely important factor of money. I always feel that programs like this are fake, since you need to have a certain social status to find out about them and to afford to get in. I have no idea whether they would accept me if it weren't for that tax. I'm a bit too cynical for them, maybe. Then again, being myself didn't prevent me from being among the 13 chosen from a pool of 2500 very talented and determined people who applied for the Engage in Conservation Project a while ago. I'd say that's rather a more impressive realization than getting into this summer school (which would probably 'teach' the same basic stuff you learn anywhere if you're interested in leadership and management). It's more of an opportunity for socializing and making connections that you would have to hand on to later on. I hate networking for the sole reason that you have to hang on to people, or else they lose interest in you in a very short time. I have good friends that i would trust with my life and i sometimes only talk to them once a year. Still, if i needed something from them or if they needed something from me, i'm sure there would be no problem, even if i had no idea what they were doing at the time. It's much easier to keep up with what people are doing through social media, but that paints a very biased picture of people's lives, so i'd rather not trust it to tell me the story of my friends. If i could find people like that in such a networking event/school, that would be good. But they are few and difficult to find and i've already found one who went to this academy. Or at least that's what i think, he still has to confirm this. Ah well. He says it helps, that the network of people he's built by going to these aspire events will help him build the future of our country. Too bad he, like most of the other participants, doesn't actually live here to see the real problems and find a solution from the inside. And too bad that, after taking part in one of their events, he decided that the guys he was supposed to meet afterwards were not worth the trouble. Because they're all in for the money to be made as the 'young and fabulous ambassadors of genius' or something. It's all a scam :( There may be some genuine people there, like i hope that he is (otherwise i'm in for a pretty intense heartache), but you don't need these events to keep up with them. Or to keep up with them at all. There are some pretty interesting people that i met in 2013 while taking part in Practica-ta that i haven't actually talked to since 2013, but i'm sure we'll meet again some day in some situation where we can help each other and we will because why not..?
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