Heart

Last night I had an odd feeling like i had forgotten to do something. It was late, 1 in the morning, so i couldn't just turn on my computer again to write when i realized that i had skipped yesterday's writing session. No worries, though. I finished my assignment on Odesk and got a bonus for good work, something I had not known was possible. I have one more to finish and then I'm free again. Well, we might collaborate again on a different project in the near future.
Yesterday was quite an odd day. My internet connection was down and it took me seven hours and quite a few phone calls to my ISP to solve the problem, which had nothing to do with my computer. Still, they made me go through the same steps three times and, after insisting twice, they finally sent someone over to check the modem in the building. That was annoying mostly because i knew the problem wasn't in my house, it was theirs and they wouldn't accept that and send someone. So i started working on my flowers. I have quite a few and no, i don't think that anyone will buy them. I don't know why, i have a feeling. On the brighter side, a very talented friend of mine has created wedding invitations with my flowers and they look gorgeous. I love them. They make me so happy. I should concentrate a bit on the wedding accessories. I think i should make one today, just to remember the skill. A bad kind of news two days ago was that my courier contract is going to be cancelled because i don't have enough orders. Well, it's not that bad, since i haven't actually had enough orders for myself, which is a bit worse. Still, i will not quit. I have no idea what i'm doing (other than drifting around), but there is a way out. Decisions are my way out. Shall i make less (and sell less 'stuff') and write more? Most probably. Will i regret letting my little shop go? Probably not, it never was a real shop anyway. Just struggling to float, always finding something more exciting to do (like last year i learned how to bead crochet and then how to crochet - which was quite cool, but also takes a lot of time and many people know how to do it, so it would take a little while to become an innovator/teacher there, then i decided that i want to sew my own traditional shirt, which is right now still in design). The way it is right now, it's more a hobby than anything else. It's not a great example of online marketing. I would use it as an example of how not to sell online. It's a good example for that. The thing is, even if i love doing this, i don't want to sell. It's crazy, but with no selling there is no income, no change, no time and resources for new items. I will keep it small and we'll just see what happens. Let me begin...
http://youtu.be/6zv3HmPxSZk
And then go on with the whole album, since it's online anyway:
http://youtu.be/imp-U9mrjM0
I just had a really interesting nonversation (short not-really-a-conversation) about these things that i write here, somewhat. In my drive to bring something new to that conversation, i may have said some things that are stupid. Or seem stupid. Or make me feel stupid. I'm not sure which. I'm out. Too much emotional involvement in these discussions leads to my replies to hang in the air and that sucks. So i should just leave them for the times when i actually meet the people i'm talking to. Times when i actually just listen to stuff that i already know and have little to no time to reply, but that's how conversations go. It's difficult to find someone to listen to the other person as well and actually understand and reply to what they're saying. I don't do small talk. It's not my thing. It's not something that i enjoy or find useful. I feel like Sheldon right now, unable to grasp a social concept that makes no sense. Some people looove small talk, they would do that all day long if they could.

And what a plot twist! My new profile picture did indeed reflect my day. The reason we were having a nonversation was quite stunning for me (and the reason for a new surge of chemicals - the good ones - through my whole body). The British are opening up a new pilot program. Anyone can apply. Guess who's been dreaming of becoming a pilot for the past who knows how many years? He has, of course. I've only been dreaming of becoming a personal pilot and only for the past two months. It will happen, but i have a feeling that his dream will come true first. Why? I trust him. He won't let me help him (i don't know how i could help, but i'm open to any suggestions), but i will do my best to support him. This is so awesome! I'm so happy right now for him. I'll be even happier when he gets in and happier than that when he comes out with a first officer license and a big, beautiful smile.
Enough for today, i'll sign off with a big hug to anyone in need.